Friday, February 21, 2014

Out of Bounds - What can and should we do about bullying?

This week I had the opportunity to serve on a panel with a group of professionals at the University Of Iowa College Of Public Health.  The panel included Marizen Ramirez, M.P.H., Ph.D., Associate Professor, Department of Occupational and Environmental Health, Associate Director for Research, Injury Prevention Research Center, Briana Woods-Jaeger, Ph.D., Assistant Professor, Department of Community and Behavioral Health and Shawn Zierke, parent involved in the development of the show and a MA student in the College of Public Health. 

The panel followed a public preview of the play, Out of Bounds by Working Group Theater.  The event was sponsored by the University of Iowa’s College of Public Health and Hancher.   The full length performance was performed at our school and the other two local junior highs in November.   This is an effort to have the arts help create some conversations about bullying. 



I really believe in the work they are doing and know that as a school administrator this is an issue we deal with on a consistent basis. We try to solve problems but also serve as resource for our students and families.  I shared during the session that I believe people really do try to do the best they know how.  I do not think our parents, teachers, students, or administrators have gotten worse or more ineffective.  I do think that the methods that we see some of these issues come forth are very different now in part to emerging technologies. 

To effectively address these situations we need to work as partners.  It pains me that there is a level of mistrust in allowing school officials to help work though situations.  I do know that some parents have been burned by the schools response or lack thereof, and movies such as Bully show that schools do not always get it right creating some of the reason for the mistrust.  The best way to establish this trust and to regain confidence is to take these situations as serious as the victims perceive what is happening to them and to provide effective follow through.  Being an overweight child growing up and getting teased and picked on relentlessly I think helps me relate our student’s struggles. 

At South East when presented with these situations I believe there are important lessons for our students to learn. The first is empathy.  See by sending a text message, post or picture our students never have to deal with the emotion that comes from the person on the others side of the screen.  It is just like as adults how we misuse email where we saw more and in a different tone that we would in person.  Having students confront the feeling this caused to another person is a powerful experience.  The other topic I commonly address is being kind and humane to people.  I credit @joykelly5 for helping me frame this conversation.   Is it more important to be right or to be kind? Who are you reserving your best manners for? Is this what you want people to think about you?  Why are you allowing yourself to be treated this way?   Bullying at its core involves inhumane treatment of others and it is not something we can allow others to look away from.  

Finally, I always involve the bystanders.  I tell them if they are not being part of the solution then they are part of the problem.   When we see these situations we need to be advocates for others and not allow this type of treatment to continue.  Most always all bullying situations or peer conflicts that we have end with some mediation between the students involved.  The success rate I have seen by doing this is very high.  Without taking this step the problem often continues for some of the same reasons listed above. 


During the panel I learned from the research of Dr. Ramirez that schools do a really good job with having policies but that there is great inconsistencies in the programs schools use to address bullying.  No matter the program we use as school officials we know, as @ToddWhitaker always says, it is the people not the programs that make the difference.  We need to make sure that the people working in our schools have the skills to navigate the conversations and work through interventions to resolve these situations.  If you are a parent reading this and have an unfortunate circumstance involving your student I hope you will give us a chance to work as partners.  

Be Great! 

Matt