I am a sucker for sports movies. My all time favorite is Major League. I could recite lines from it all day long and laugh to myself. This makes my wife think she married a weirdo, but my brother and friends think its pretty cool. The fact that I know Jake Taylor tames Wild Thing, puts the bunt down, reaches first, and helps the Indians win the pennant is enough for me no matter the reaction. Last night during #IAedchat I found myself thinking how I could relate the feeling that I believe students can have when things do not seem to be going well at school. Then I got to thinking this is not unique to just students. I am sure teachers or admins feel like this more often than we think too. I still struggled for a way to put it into context and then a movie quote hit me. It comes from another sports classic, The Replacements.
"You're playing and you think everything is going fine. Then one thing goes wrong. And then another. And another. You try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink. Until you can't move... you can't breathe... because you're in over your head. Like quicksand." Shane Falco - The Replacements
Why can school feel this way? As someone who has now fulfilled each of the roles listed above (parent, student, teacher, and administrator) I think it comes from school being a highly competitive environment that takes some skill and finesse to navigate. Not all of it comes easy no matter who you are. I take solace in knowing that Shane Falco has a happy ending, he gets the girl and the job. He overcomes his challenges and succeeds at quarterback. We call can succeed too. It is not that bad things will not happen it is how we respond to those unpredictable challenges that come our way that determines our success. We are not always in control of what happens to us, but we are always in control of our response. If you have spent any time as a parent, teacher or administrator you know that it is not if mistakes will be made but rather when. When that time happens we have a great opportunity to promote growth in ourselves or others depending on the circumstance, but we also need to look for help. This is what we have to be able to show our students. Too often I see students that give up after one negative behavior incident or a poor performance on a piece of graded work. We have to teach them how to deal with adversity. We cannot expect them to know the way out. This is why we are here. As educators is to not only teach this important skill, but to practice it ourselves.
One way is through a support system. In the Replacements Shane Falco had Coach Jimmy McGinty to pull him through it. Who is your coach? Who provides you perspective? Who will that person be for our students? If you are a student it could be your parents, but what if they are not able or willing? If you are a teacher maybe a colleague down the hall, but what if you usually are the one filling that role? As a principal you are the go to when all else fails for parents, teachers and students, So who is your Coach McGinty? You have to find a colleague or mentor that can help you keep your frame of reference and mindset in the right direction. However, I would encourage you to take this one step further. No matter your role to turn this into a network of people not just one person. What happens to Shane Falco if Jimmy McGinty never comes along? He lives a life stuck in the Sugar Bowl being drubbed with 3 concussions. He never believes he can be better. It is all about the relationships we form and those people that help us be better than we thought we could be. There are often no quick solutions to our most difficult problems, but the people we surround ourselves with will help us create a path out. Social media gives us an avenue to do this and essentially removes any excuse for why we cannot do so. Build your network folks.
Finally, when you feel like you have hit quicksand. Quit fighting back so hard. Get out of the office, step back away from the stack of papers, focus on completing one task first, talk to a supportive person. Sometimes as doers or overachievers our first reaction is to fix things right away, which can cause quick decisions that are often times not the best. You are not really in over your head, you just need to get your head back. You will not change what happened but you can plan your response and reaction. If we can successfully pass this knowledge on to our students then we have taught them a lesson that lasts a lifetime.
Be Great!
Matt
